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Bereavement

At 29 I’ve been to more funerals than I care to remember; as a child when I didn’t really understand, to friend’s, to family member’s, being there to support past partners, and, more recently, my wife. But this October I had to attend the most difficult funeral yet, that of my Grandma. As the Vicar ended the service letting Grandma know it was time to dance with the planets and stars and towards those who were waiting for her it was then it hit me. She’d really gone.

A couple of days later after burying her ashes in her family grave I sat on the train back to Brighton crying, I’ve no idea if I attracted strange or concerned looks from my fellow passengers. All I knew was that I needed, wanted even, to restore some sort of order in my mind. Why wasn’t there a universal grieving manual I could turn to tell me what to do?

As I sat there watching the world speed by me I got thinking, is there a right way for us to grieve, to say goodbye and accept that our loved one has really left us behind to continue our lives without them.

There are numerous articles, web pages and self help books telling us how to cope. Each one is so very different. Yet not one of those appealed to me. Then I thought why do I, why do we, feel the need for permission and instructions to bereave. Animals go about it just fine on their own. We hear of dogs pining, elephants trying to wake the fallen member of the herd and monkeys sitting by their companions for days. Yet somehow they get by, and no-one told them what to do to move on and continue their lives. They just do whatever comes naturally, their instinct tells them.

Why has the subject become such big business, from funeral directors to self help authors; people seem intent on making money out of the inevitable and preying on those in their hours of need.

After ticking over with my random thoughts, a few days later I realised just what I needed. To just let it happen. To just be. Sometimes I don’t think about it, and that’s ok. Other times I shed a tear, sit with my memories or take extra care when putting on a necklace Grandma gave me. That’s all ok too.

There are no rules. Just do what comes naturally, seek comfort in religion or spirituality, a memory or photo album, anything at all you hold dear.

No matter what you do, it’ll always be the right thing.

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Tanya Burr Cosmetics

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I read in Tanya’s latest magazine article in Glamour magazine that her target audience is under 25. Well, I’m a year or 4 over that but I haven’t let that stop me enjoying some of the lovely products in the range.

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I’m a latecomer to all things Tanya but having recently found her on Snapchat and Instagram, the article in Glamour really opened my eyes and made me realise she’s just a normal girl, and she deserves all the success in the world.

I can’t afford all of them so I’ve treated myself to just a few. I’m certainly no make-up expert but  I’ve found the staying power of the eyeshadows, blush and highlighter better than many high end products I’ve tried, and they all give a really subtle finish that can be slowly built up.

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The Galaxy eye palette is something I wear every day to work. It blends out so smoothly and gives a gentle shimmer to my eyes to brighten up my work wardrobe.

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Now this little treat I just couldn’t resist – the Merry Kissmas gift set. No it’s not Christmas yet. Yes, I bought it for myself – but I am so happy I did! The make-up bag is the sparkliest, prettiest bag ever and I’m looking forward to using it to brighten up my dressing table and my suitcase on trips away.

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This beautiful shade – Pick & Mix – is so very me, and I think my mom will be stealing it off me when I next visit Birmingham! I haven’t used it yet but I’m looking forward to trying it out, and hoping it has good coverage and staying power.

IMAG1427_BURST002How beautiful is this cheek palette?! I haven’t used the bronzer yet as I’m not a bronzer kind of girl, but the peachy blush and pearly shimmery highlighter are some of the best I have used yet.

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Yes, again ,I realise it’s not Christmas but a girl always deserves a treat, right! I haven’t used any of these yet, I’m saving them for a trip to the ballet next week (The Nutcracker – trying to get myself into the Christmas spirit).

What I love most about these products is that Tanya herself uses them, a testament to the excellent quality, beautiful shades and long lasting wear of the collection.

Have you used any of the new range yet, what are your favourite products? Did any of you manage to get hold of the Tanya Burr Advent Calendar before it went out of stock in Superdrug?

Karen xx