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Beautiful Birmingham

Every June around my birthday I go back to Birmingham to spend a few days with my parents, see friends and to relax. This year I was extra lucky as not only as it warm and sunny, but I managed to spend some of my birthday (which was also father’s day) with my parents. We enjoyed tea in the sunshine while laughing at old memories before I left, first class train tickets in hand (and a bag of lovely pressies from my parents and friend)

I was definitely in need of a break when the visit home came around. Although my fatigue and pain tend to be less intense in the hot weather, I have a more general ongoing feeling of exhaustion. A couple of the afternoons we all read until we fell asleep and I had glorious two hour naps. My parent’s have a beautiful garden that blooms all year round and I couldn’t resist but take lots of snaps, especially around dusk with the gorgeous sunsets. We also visited a local park to feed the ducks bird seed and meal worms where a goose stuck it’s head up my dress and pecked my camera. Luckily I escaped unharmed!

Here are some of my favourite photos of the garden and park. I know in years to come I will look back at these photos with a smile and remember all the great moments of this long, lazy weekend.

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It’s ME and Fibromyalgia Awareness Week

Every week, every day in fact seems to be awareness for something nowadays but this one is one that I feel is really important. Invisible illnesses often get less recognition because you can’t see what effect its having on a person. Here’s a few of my favourite blog posts and websites to help you get clued up about the illnesses I live with and how they affect my every day life.

Meg Says

Action for ME

ME Association

Once Upon A Fibro Time

Cloudy With A Chance of Pain

Fibro Blogger Directory

An of course… my blog!

If you know of any others that you think should be added to the list let me know!

Happy reading 🙂

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Taking Medical Leave From University

Deciding to do a part time degree, while working part time, and living with ever changing chronic illnesses has always been tough. I may never have got the best marks but I have somehow managed to complete three full years with the Open University and overall my scores were good.

The latest module started in October and was the first level three, or third year for full time universities. I cannot describe the change between second and third level, it was so much harder. But I found it so interesting having the freedom to independently study and use my research in essays. Despite being persistently behind I achieve the best scores in my university career to date. However it got harder and harder to keep up. As my anxiety greatly worsened at the beginning of the year I found my studies were only adding to the exhausting endless turmoil in my mind. I certainly don’t need help feeling exhausted, and I got to the point when I knew it wasn’t doing me any good, in fact I felt it was being detrimental to my health.

I chatted with two good friends about my thoughts to defer and take medical leave, which gives me the option to return and use the credits I have within twelve years of starting. It took a while to sit with my thoughts to know what was truly the best thing for me, and my health, both mental and physical. It was on the short walk home from a coffee shop, whilst propped up with Sticky (my latest walking stick) that I made my ‘executive decision’ (I always call important decisions executive, I think it gives them a bit more oomph!).

I called the university on Monday, a call back never came, so stressed out and pacing I called again on Tuesday and finally spoke to someone who said I wouldn’t be entitled to a penny back of the hundreds of pounds I had paid for the year. After pressing the matter more, I was told I would urgently need a letter from my GP to state it was is not in my best interests health wise to continue studying. My GP have advised this will take three weeks and will cost me £20. I have never requested a letter from my GP for any reason, not for any type of benefit, not for work, never, so I am saddened and angry I’m expected to pay yet more on top of my taxes and prescription charges.

The first days after cancelling my course and getting those dreaded emails through were hard. I had a sudden realisation at work that I was no longer a student and that it is probably for the longer term, if not for good. But as the days have gone on I feel a great sense of relief, a huge weight feels as if it has been lifted off my shoulders. I am free to use what little spare time I have doing what I love; reading, taking photos, spending time with family and friends. And most of all I don’t have to feel guilty for napping, for sleeping, or for taking entire days in bed with cups of tea, my cats and a steady supply of painkillers because that’s what my body needs.

So I’m not a student any more, and I may never graduate. And that’s ok. Because I come first, education will always be there, and I have already achieved so much despite all the things set against me. So if you don’t mind I’m off to stick my head in a magazine and have another cup of tea.